Tori's Web Site

This is my website!! My dad made it for me. His blog is over at www.rudis.net.

BUT ANYWAYS
I’ll try to post something interesting once a day ish

It will either be cool news, a poem I have written, lyrics I have written, or an update as to how far I am on my book.

At some point I will put up a tracker widget to show my progress

I am on chapter 5 of about 22 at the moment so its slow but yeah. enjoy =)

Have you ever heard

That your soul has

Someplace dark inside

It’s where

You put all your guilt

And where your

Problems go when

They are pushed aside

CHORUS

Don’t go down there

It’s too late

You’re drowning in

The Blackness inside your soul

It’s a scary place

Down there

It’s where your inner demon lives

And when he comes out

You don’t ever know

Just what he will do

It’s not like getting drunk

‘Cus You remember vividly

Everything that he just did.

So…

CHORUS 3x

You are drowning and no one can save you now

These tears I cry,

When I’m all  alone

Are shed for you

My dear

And my only hope

Is that heaven hears

My cry for you

My dear

CHORUS

I cry out to heaven saying,

God please help her now.

And I cry out to heaven pleading,

God she needs you now

I pray that God

Sends his angels

To shelter you

My dear

‘Cus all I can think

Of this lonely world

Is how much it could hurt you
My dear

CHORUS 3x

These tears I cry

When I’m all alone

Are shed for you

My dear

Forget that I ever existed

Make me no more than a memory

Far off all the way in nowhere

‘Cus I’m not worth your time and energy

Nothins’ keeping me alive at this pointa

JUST LET ME SLIP AWAY!!

CHORUS

Too much

Cant take it anymore

Too late

I’m falling down

And I cant get back up again

Just let my demons eat me away

Let me go into the dark

And hide myself away

So I cant

Hurt nobody anymore

just let me slip away

CHORUS

BRIDGE

My wishing star is slowly fading away,

My heart is goin’ black

I need a light to guide the way

CHORUS 3x

Just let my demons eat me away

(Verse 1)

You never really liked me

You never really loved me

Even though you told me

That you would never leave me

You always told me how much

You cared about me but

Now look at what you did to me

(CHORUS) 

NOW I’M DYING

Where are you

To save me from myself

NOW I’’M FALLING

Where are you

To catch me before I hit the ground

(Verse 2)

I cared so much about you

but

now I really hate you

Why did you just leave me

What did I do wrong?

(CHORUS)

(Bridge)

You were always there for me but now you’ve gone away

I thought that you’d understand but you just didn’t care

(CHORUS softly)

Now I’m dying

Where are you

To save me from myself

(SCREAM)     

NOW I’M FALLING

WHERE ARE YOU

TO CATCH ME BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND

Yesterday all seems so far away

Compared to the pain of today

I need someone to tell me

That everything’s ok

I need someone to show me

That I can make today a better day

I need a whisper

I need a sign
That I’m not making bad choices again

I need reassurance

I need some help

So I can get back up on my feet again

I need a whisper

Confusion is breaking down my barriers

Unprotected and alone

I crawl to find someone

Who’ll put it all back together

Because these broken wings wont fly me to you.

I need a whisper

I need a sign
That I’m not making bad choices again

I need reassurance

I need some help

So I can get back up on my feet again

I need a whisper

Just give me a whisper

I can’t get you out of my head

Why do these memories

Haunt me

I can’t concentrate on anything

I thought that I was

Over you

CHORUS

I can’t seem to forget you

You’re haunting me

Stop right there

Get out of my head and

Get away from me

Get away from me

I need to just get on with life

But every time I think of you

I cry

All this pain and anguish

Over just ONE GUY!!

CHORUS 2x

GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!

I wish we didn’t have to live
In constant fear of letting go
Or being discovered
It was so much fun
And yet
Look at us now

I love you more than I could ever tell
And I will never let you go
Never let you go
I promise this to you here and now
I will never leave

I miss you more right now
Than I ever have
And all I want to do
Is sleep and dream
Of better things
In hopes that when I wake up
You’ll be right there

I love you more than I could ever tell
And I will never let you go
Never let you go
I promise this to you here and now
I will never leave

To be honest
Right now I want to go get drunk
So I forget all that has happened
If only for a little while

I love you more than I could ever tell
And I will never let you go
Never let you go
I promise this to you here and now
I will never leave

I’m right here and
I will never leave(2x)

Find me a thunderstorm
And then find me an empty street to dance in
I don’t want to go home tonight

I just want to stay here and be crazy

With you right here in my arms

Lets go out tonight
And dare to dream
Lets break the laws of gravity and fly away
I don’t care if everyone is watching us
Let them stare

Cus baby
All I want to do
Is lose myself in you
And fly away

Hold on tight
And don’t let go
This feeling wont last forever

So
Find me a thunderstorm
The loudest one on earth
Then find me a street where I can dance
Up to the stars
We’re gonna leave them all behind

Cus baby
All I want to do
Is lose myself in you

This may sound cliche
But I don’t really care

Cus baby
All I want to do
Is spend my life with you
And I know you want to too

Take me away

COOKIE MONSTER
SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN
HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME
REALLY MONSTER?

BY ANDY F. BRYAN

- – - -

Me know. Me have problem.

Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me
know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have
weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn’t normal. Me see
disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.

When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can’t stand
looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested
with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me
don’t think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies
too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.

Me was thinking and me just don’t get it. Why is me a monster? No one
else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn’t really
monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry
Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But
is me really monster?

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since
when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease.
It burden. But does it make me monster?

How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but
who in Sesame Street doesn’t suffer from mental disease or
psychological disorder? They don’t call the vampire with math fetish
monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls
Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and
obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what
his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one
call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don’t get me
started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is
that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths
extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe
have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.

No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me
love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has
something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not
me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious.
Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.

Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.

Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble
cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can’t swallow. Me no have no
esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me
not supposed to be able to even talk.

Me no eat cookies.

Me destroy cookies.

Me crush cookies.

Me mutilate cookies.

Me make it so no one get cookies.

Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.